what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
