I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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