I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
