come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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