if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
