I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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