you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize