the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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