Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
