The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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