i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
