I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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