Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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