he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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