New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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