Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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