I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
