We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
