How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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