'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
