her vagine was all disorganized.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize