the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
