FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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