I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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