I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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