I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
