I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
