i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
