weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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