It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
