so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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