Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
