i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
