btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
