She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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