i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
