R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
