What a fucking waste of an outfit
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
