I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
