i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
