Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
