if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
