have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
