i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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