Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
