I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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