Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
