Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
