Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
