Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
