i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
