hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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