Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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